Notebook : pages 7-8

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The rest of When You Get on the left. I think I wrote that second pair of stanzas a few days after the first idea came along. Blank pages are good hedgebet—more on that later.

And on the right, a mini-essay about the confusion of childhood. I had an unremarkable childhood, I think; probably no more troubled or confused or unhappy than most kids, and in a stable and loving home. Strife and money problems and other fun things, but no tragedies. It'd be dramatic to describe myself as having been deeply unhappy for anything other than brief, painful stints, but I think "deeply dissatisified" is fair: I didn't understand the world and lacked the confidence or skills to really do anything about it.

And some of the songs on the album capture this sort of mute social and ontological despair, and some of the steps along my slow path out of it. When You Get a Girl is the most dedicated reference to this, with its lyrical regurgitation of the limited, foolish wisdom given and collected—"everything'll change" is a key misconception, whether about the effect of getting a girl or any other rite of life—but other songs reference more literally some of the key moments of stasis and of transition in my adolescent life.

While the album doesn't have any single organizing theme, the confusion and isolation of finding my place socially and growing out of the swamp of childhood is a recurring element. I think this little rant captured my headspace at the beginning of February well.

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