I am, at my basest, nothing more than a ruiner, and that is why I can’t stand by and let Dorothy Gambrell hog the as-yet-unclaimed google hits for this (shockingly plausible) phrase:

A hipster walks into a bar.

Yes, she was there first, and better, but that’s not the issue. The issue is that I enjoy getting non-monetizable hits for specific search strings.

But let’s get productive. Let’s make something of this. Let’s find out what the hell that hipster was doing walking into that bar.

Let’s make some punchlines.

Setup: A hipster walks into a bar.

Punchline 1 (the Gambrellian Riposte): He says, “this place sucks. It’s full of hipsters!”

P2: The bartender says, “Please take off that trucker hat. You look like an idiot in it, and regardless we cater to a demographic of genuine truckers who have expressed discomfort with your wardrobe choices.”

P3: The bartender says, “get you a beer?” The hipster says, “what’s popular? Because I’ll have not that. Seriously.”

P4: Pabst grabs a phone and begins screaming hysterically for the police.

Okay, so Dorothy is better at this than I am. If you can do better, lay it on me.