Before I worked where I work now, there was a guy who worked here named James. Well remembered by his coworkers, nice guy, et cetera. He must not have been a complete superstar, however, because when he left the company, the company did not elect to retire his phone number. And so the number is now mine.

This fact will, I hope, sink in with the guy who lately keeps calling me several times a day looking for James. Sometimes I answer the phone and hear some awful static and then “hello, James H——?” Sometimes I answer the phone and hear some awful static and then nothing. Sometimes I just get the nothing.

I was pretty plaintive with the guy when he called yet again this morning — James used to work here, but does not, and no he is not ever going to be reachable at this number, and no I do not have his home number or any other such number, I do not know him, he left the company before I got here, this is not his number nor will it ever be his number — and I’m hoping that will sink in.

I have received two calls since then that I presume are from the same source, but both were of the silent hangup variety, so I’m counting that as progress. If an actual human gets on the line again, though, I’m escalating that shit post-haste. Yes, your supervisor, and make it snappy.

I’m guessing foreign call center, but it could be domestic with a guy who speaks with an accent. I don’t know my accents well enough to get any more specific than “east asian, not Indian British”. The whole feel of the thing suggests to me that James, wheresoever he may be, has for quite some time now declined to pay a bill.